A Father’s Letter to His Daughter Who Disowned Her Gay Son

gay pride markers

(Photo by Alex Merenkov)

A Facebook status drew much attention this week. The details are yet to follow as it just became public two days ago. Judging from the letter, a woman disowned her son because he came out for being gay, and the letter is addressed to the woman from her father, the son’s grandpa. 

Dear Christine:

I’m disappointed in you as a daughter. You’re correct that we have a “shame in the family”, but mistaken about what it is.

Kicking Chad out of your home simply because he told you he was gay is the real “abomination” here. A parent disowing her child is what goes “against nature”.

The only intelligent thing I heard you saying in all this was that “you didn’t raise your son to be gay”. Of course you didn’t. He was born this way and didn’t choose it any more than he being left-handed. You however, have made a choice of being hurtful, narrow-minded and backward. So, while we are in the business of [disowning] our children, I think I’ll take this moment to say goodbye to you. I now have a fabulous (as the gay put it) grandson to raise, and I don’t have time for heartless B-word of a daughter.

[If] you find your heart, give us a call.


*You can see a pic of the real letter from here. 

I hope the daughter will understand that he was born that way. It’s like his fingerprints and his being gay is out of his control.

Your being heterosexual doesn’t justify your judgmental and arrogant behaviors against LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender). Your being heterosexual doesn’t give you an ultimate pardon to be cruel to LGBT. Just like all the others, he deserves to be loved and respected as the way he is.

May this family be reunited with love and smile again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *



Yasu is the founder and CEO of Good Friends Japan. We aspire to offer opportunities of international education to unprivileged young adults. リベラルアーツ教育研究、英語学習のためにICUを中退。アメリカ、カナダに学部・大学院留学。米の中高の特別講師、サッカーの助監督、カナダで路上生活者と共生。カナダの教会で、異文化教育、カウンセリング、葬儀等を担当。シンガポール勤務を経て、児童養護施設出身者、中退・引きこもりの若者など、社会的に困難な状況でがんばる人たちの国際教育支援チーム創設。教育学修士。@yasukuwahara